11.07.2004

Haunting dreams

It's been awhile. How are you guys?

On dreams:
Well. I am having these haunting dreams, and the problem is, I can't remember them when I awake. Makes it a bit difficult to find out, where the problem lies, doesn't it? I have a notion, though. I started meditating the other day, and the weird dreams started there. I must have some issues, that I have to get sorted. That is a high priority tonight.

On old thought-patterns:
Also. Am I really comfortable with that whole new way of looking at life? I like it, ofcourse, but am I really comfortable or is the prospect of actually living life scaring the shit out of me? Enough so, that I am starting to think in the old pattern of husband, kids and a career? Or am I just starting to find yet another truth in life?

On caring about each other:

My thoughts go out to my beloved these days. He is really going through hell. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, I can tell you that much! But what can I do, really? Not much, all I try to do is be there for him. It's his life, and as much as I'd like to, I can't live it. He tells me not to worry, but I can see how deeply troubled he is, how can I not worry, when I care so much about him?

On religion:
I am pursuing my religion again. Spend Samhain being to exhausted to do much, and looking forward to Yule. I don't celebrate Christmas, but my entire family is gathered this year, so you'll find me there too. It's funny, how most of the people I talk to love the holidays, and yet they are not Christian. It's like they conveniently forget that the reason they give gifts is because of Jesus. I don't like that trait in people. At least make a stand! As Bill Hicks said: "But you gotta admit that beliefs are odd! A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks.. You think if Jesus ever comes back, he wants to see a f****** cross again?"

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